Time and time again, I hear women complaining about how challenging it is to date men in Vancouver. The complaints range from the lack of quality of single men, to the lack of effort made during courtship, or rather that courtship no longer exists, period. Here are some tips to the bachelors out there on some dating Dos and Don’ts:

1. Dating DO: When asking a woman out, suggest an activity (coffee/drinks/dinner, for example) and propose a time (close the deal). Dating DON'T: Do not ask a woman out by saying ‘We should hang out sometime.’

Texting ‘whatsup’ or Facebook messaging ‘We should do coffee sometime’ is not asking someone out. It communicates lack of effort and intention. It negates you from having to put yourself out there to risk rejection. Or, it’s just plain lazy.

Perhaps I’m old fashioned or maybe I’m just trying to resist the casual culture characteristic of the hook-up millennial generation. But as a wise friend put it, the passive approach of "we should ..." lacks true intention, not only in terms of dating but in regards to personal friendships/relationships, as well as business. It says, ‘I'll only commit, if you commit first. And if not, I'm not really interested.’

2. Dating DO: If you do the inviting, offer to pay for the bill.

I’m not saying you have to take the person on a fancy, multi-course dinner on a first date. But a general rule of thumb, whether it’s a first business meeting or a first date, is that if you do the inviting, offer to pay. And, if the date extends beyond the coffee, drink or meal, then it’s fair game after that. It’s not about the amount of money spent it’s about the gesture.

3. Dating DO: Put in some effort.

Sure, we don’t want to create stuffy situations that create expectations and pressure. But that doesn’t mean you should slack off on making effort when going on a date. Dress for the occasion with proper footwear (and unless you’re heading to the beach, I’d advise to stay away from flip flops at dinner). Put some thought into where to go and saying ‘I dunno, what do you want to do?’ doesn’t cut it.

Happy dating!

Poll

Name your deal breaker:

Thursday, May 23, 2013

0% 0 votes	Flip-flops
0% 0 votes	Not offering to pay when they do the asking
0% 0 votes	Minimum effort
0% 0 votes	Other