Dating and relating
Love connection all about the chemistry 0
Writer Sandra O’Connell suggests the best way to open doors and meet new people is talk to them, even if you’re not interested in them romantically. (PHOTO BARON S. CAMERON)
Vancouver’s top catches are out there, they’re just working like crazy, taking care of business for a better future that hopefully includes domestic bliss.
Name: Sandra O’Connell
While you find meeting new people fairly easy, a lot of people struggle with this. Any tips?
Go outside of your comfort zone … try new places. Talk to all kinds of people. Even if you’re not interested romantically, be open to having conversations. Also, this sounds so simple, but say ‘hello.’ And reciprocate when someone says hello to you. Not everyone has dubious intentions.
What’s your advice on dealing with jealousy?
Jealousy usually stems from a past experience that hasn’t been fully dealt with or healed from – it’s about your own insecurities. Find the root of that jealousy so you can move past it.
What are your thoughts on men and women being just friends?
I’m a firm believer that men and women can be friends with each other, even when in another relationship. I think we can learn so much from a variety of people. As long as you communicate intentions and there’s trust between you and your partner, I think it’s healthy and important.
Is chemistry necessary?
Chemistry and connection drive me – they’re absolutely necessary. Looking good on paper means nothing to me if the chemistry isn’t there. Connection can happen with anybody. Also, for me, chemistry has always been instantaneous. I have not experienced chemistry that appeared after time … yet.
Is marriage important to you?
Marriage, in terms of the institution, isn’t important to me. Relationships come in all shapes and forms, and I don’t need a piece of paper or a fancy wedding to prove that I love someone. I’m not opposed to it, but it’s not a priority or on my list of ‘must-do’s.’ I joke that if I ever get married, it’s going to be a potluck picnic.
What’s your advice to people who push for commitment/marriage?
The pressure can work against you because if you obsess over something you just push it away. It’s not healthy to become desperate about it. Follow the natural progression of a relationship and trust that it will happen at the right time. You can’t force, trick or guilt someone into a relationship and expect it to work.
What is romance to you?
Romance can happen with the smallest gesture — a touch, a note, the way someone looks at you. Anything that makes your gut flutter. It’s knowing that someone digs you and it’s a form of respect. Love doesn’t even need to be in the equation.
What are your thoughts on chivalry?
It’s not dead. Don’t fight it.
Any last words of wisdom?
Live without expectation. Enjoy every moment. Be open. Be curious. Meet as many people as you can. People enrich a person’s life.