DATING AND RELATING
Consistency key to long-term love 0
Social media expert David Walmsley is not one to jump into relationships quickly, instead preferring that they develop over time to succeed in the future. (PHOTO SUBMITTED)
Vancouver’s top catches are out there, they’re just working like crazy, taking care of business for a better future that hopefully includes domestic bliss.
Name: David Walmsley
Occupation: Social media strategist
What is love is to you?
Many define love as something that can happen instantly and it’s emotionally charged. To me, love is built through time. Love is long-term and its underlying factor is consistency.
What do you think causes relationships to fail?
People jump in too soon. They either avoid relationships all together or push for it too much: not spending enough time outside of a relationship to set things up for one to succeed in the future. Many get into a relationship to solve the problem of loneliness or unfulfillment. They fill this void with a person. While it may seem like a great temporary solution, that void can come back later on and present itself in the relationship.
Do you have a ‘type?’
People typecast themselves and who they want to date. By doing that, you end up making up traits for people that they may not actually have, while also missing out on so much because you’ve negated a majority of the population.
What are your thoughts on playing games?
Nothing good comes from playing games, making assumptions, or relying on hints. When you overly read into things, you end up creating false narratives about the person. You can create a false dialogue that has nothing to do with the person by reading into things too much. People are too afraid to be open and direct. If I’m interested I will tell her one of the reasons why I am interested and express that I’d like to spend more time with her.
Does attraction need to be immediate or can it grow in time?
You can have a knee-jerk reaction and be sexually attracted immediately, but that doesn’t make a relationship. That ‘magical’ feeling can be misleading and it can fade, bringing you to the realization that you ran too quickly — and never had the time to really get to know each other. Sexual attraction can be built in time. When you spend time with someone and draw out the process of dating, you can see the person as a whole, versus purely on a physical level.
What would your advice to men be?
Be direct. Mean it. Don’t play into an established binary created by men trying to take advantage of a situation, by feigning mystery and intrigue. It works only in the short-term.
What would your advice to women be?
Pay attention to when it’s happening and don’t fall for it.
Last words of wisdom?
It’s one thing to be direct, it’s another to legitimately mean what you’re saying.
While being direct, don’t get ahead of yourself. It’s not about just saying what you feel in the particular moment.