Modelling career forced look at inner self 0
Former model Adrienne Nicole recommends respecting your partner and loving yourself as the foundations for a healthy relationship that is strong in communication, intimacy and affection. (PHOTO SUBMITTED)
What do happy couples know? Vancouverites share their wisdom and lessons learned on life, love and the secrets to healthy relationships.
Name: Adrienne Nicole
Occupation: Lifestyle wellness coach
Relationship status: Newly coupled
As a former model, how were your relationships affected?
A lot of men only saw me for beauty and did not value my personality or the depth behind me as a human being. Such men are attracted to the social stigma that beauty is power. When I modelled, I struggled to love and accept myself. I unconsciously looked for a relationship trying to create this experience of love, acceptance and happiness. It would create an unhealthy dependence on the other person. Modelling reflected the relationship I had with myself, as well as the fact it was impossible to have a healthy relationship with another person feeling like I did.
How did you filter out the ‘wrong’ men?
A man who is looking for a real relationship and something deeper will invest in a woman and get to know her, he will ask her questions. He will be patient with the process. A man who is just looking for arm candy is not going to wait around. It’s important to not be afraid to ask a man questions about his intentions — even though a lot of us are afraid to ask because it puts us in a vulnerable place.
Did you feel beautiful when you were a model?
It was the most unattractive I’ve ever felt. Being paid and valued for my appearance was a slippery slope; any flaw could be detrimental to my livelihood. A flaw can seem so much bigger than it actually is and it often became a focal point.
What is key to a healthy relationship?
Loving yourself, respecting your partner, creating a good foundation. Communication, intimacy and affection. Building a supportive team. Creating beautiful experiences and memories. Picking your battles wisely. Mostly remembering to appreciate your partner daily and not taking them for granted.
What have you learned from the past?
Patience and acceptance; when things are right, they will work out. Forcing things never works out well.
What’s your advice to single men?
Make her feel special, beautiful and appreciated from an authentic place. Don’t open up her heart if you don’t intend to actually embrace that love.
What’s your advice to single women?
If he likes you he will step up and go after you. He will do what it takes to be with you. Let him come to you.
Do you believe in soulmates?
Yes. A soulmate is someone who comes into our life and teaches us about ourselves and helps us grow. They are there for the evolution of our soul. It may not be someone we will spend our life with, but it very well can be.