Opinion Column

DATING AND RELATING

Solid relationship starts with friendship 0

By Amy Chan

Nadia Mah says “dare to love with reckless abandon.” (PHOTO SUBMITTED)

Nadia Mah says “dare to love with reckless abandon.” (PHOTO SUBMITTED)

What do happy couples know? It seems a lot, as we ask local people to share their wisdom and lessons learned on life, love and secrets to a healthy relationship.

Name: Nadia Mah

Occupation: Marketing and social media manager

Relationship status: Engaged to Cyrus Li

What is love to you?

Love is the sum of all the little things, that’s why all the little things count. Love is in the way you say ‘Good morning.’ It’s in the way you solve problems, it’s in the way you show affection and support. Love is waking up early to cook breakfast and staying up late to watch each other’s favourite TV shows. It’s planning Sunday grocery lists and surprise weekend trips. Love is making all those tiny, seemingly insignificant choices for the growth and benefit of ‘us.’

You recently cancelled your ‘dream wedding,’ what was the reasoning?

Priorities. You either prioritize your dream wedding or your dream marriage. The plan started out with a simple vision, but it wasn’t long before the wedding snowballed into something of a huge production. While it was difficult to let go of our ‘dream wedding’ due to all the effort and time we poured into the planning process, we’re confident we did the right thing for us. Our new wedding plans are much more reflective of our priority, which is our life together in our dream marriage.

What do you love most about Cyrus?

He makes me feel beautiful, appreciated and taken care of every day. I’m humbled by his consistency. He has taught me that love can be constant, that it doesn’t come and go based on convenience or occasion. A healthy love is steady, in spite of life’s highs and lows.

What makes your relationship work?

Being best friends. Sometimes, approaching your relationship like a friendship can help relieve some of the pressures couples inevitably put on each other. Something I try to do before getting upset at Cyrus is asking myself if I would get upset at my best friend over the exact same situation. The answer is often no.

What's something you would tell your younger self?

Dare to love with reckless abandon. Knowing heartbreak and knowing how to break someone’s heart will make you respect love much more, and recognize good love much better, as you get older.

How do you know when you’re with the right person?

The right person will make you wonder ‘how’ instead of question ‘why.’ If you often catch yourself asking, ‘Why am I with him?’ he is likely not the right fit for you. When it’s right, you’ll often find yourself wondering, ‘How am I so lucky to be with him?’

What is your advice to men?

A girl’s favourite gift will always be your quality time. Find the balance.

What is your advice to women?

A guy’s favorite gift will be always be quality time with his boys. Find the balance. 

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