DATING AND RELATING
Discipline needed to keep romance alive
Tirajeh Ghazvini and her family. (PHOTO SUBMITTED)
What do happy couples know? It seems a lot, as we ask local people to share their wisdom and lessons learned on life, love and secrets to a healthy relationship.
Name: Tirajeh Ghazvini
Relationship status: Married to Jonathan Flander with a three-year-old son
What is love to you?
Love is unconditional, it is selfless. But love itself is not enough to sustain a life-long partnership. Trust and respect is equally important. If there is no respect, there is no love.
How did you meet Jonathan?
I was 19 years old, working at a clothing store. One day, Jonathan walks in. Instantly I was drawn to him. After we started chatting, it felt natural for me to ask him for his number. He was so shocked he started laughing and even blushing. I said, “How about this, if I remember your number I will call you.” That night I went home and called him.
After being together for over 12 years, how do you keep romance alive?
We try our best, but when you have a young child it can sometimes be difficult. It’s important to put time aside for yourselves. But it’s really hard to do that so you have to be disciplined and committed to do so.
What do you suggest for others on keeping the flame alive?
Ask yourself when the last time you made out was. Sex is initiated by making out, not a peck on the lips. So make out more.
Also, having a TV in the bedroom is a major problem. Or you’ll end up creating a habit of choosing TV over having sex.
What is your advice to single women who want a relationship?
Don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress or hook a guy. If it’s meant to be, you’ll be amazed at how fast and easy things happen, without you having to struggle. You don’t need to try so hard to make someone like you.
What do you love about him?
His heart. I think he’s the nicest, most genuine man I’ve ever met. There isn’t a bad bone in his body.
Any last words of wisdom?
When you have children, remember who came first in your relationship. That’s important. The love of a child is no love you have ever experienced and you become so in love with your child that you forget about your companion. Reserve time for each other. For example, if one of you is busy and you see that your partner can’t find the time to take a break, then initiate a date night. Taking care of your needs as a couple also makes an impact on the overall happiness of your family.