Life

DATING AND RELATING

Five types of friends to avoid 0

By Amy Chan

Be picky in choosing friends. (FILE PHOTO)

Be picky in choosing friends. (FILE PHOTO)

When I was in my early 20s, I had an army of friends. Our common ground consisted of shared interests like clubbing, gossip and being overly dramatic about our romantic problems. I surrounded myself with people who were good-looking, stylish and popular because subconsciously that validated me.

 

As I grew older and reached a different stage in my life, my interests started to change. I became a lot clearer of the type of human I wanted to be and the values that I stood for. Slowly, I grew apart from some of my old friends, got closer to others, and made room to welcome new, like-minded people into my life.

The quote, “The five people you associate with the most, you become,” strongly resonates with me. Today, I care about having a small quantity of high-quality friends. I prize sincerity, generosity, kindness, consistency and loyalty above all else. But sometimes, it’s hard to recognize the friends that are toxic to your life, such as these five types.

1. The Energy Vampire

After spending time with this person, you feel drained. The conversation usually revolves around their problems and complaints. You’re on the receiving end of an emotional “dump” each time you hang out so he/she can release and feel better. Problem is, that energy ends up making a withdrawal from your energy reserve, and you have nothing left to give after.

2. The Disappearing Act

This person is your BFF when they are single and need you to be the wing person for nights out to fill the social calendar. But as soon as they enter a relationship, you drop abruptly to zero priority. Once they go through a breakup, you’re the person they call to weep and vent to, only for the same cycle to repeat once they meet their next beau.

3. The Drama Magnet

This person’s storyline never seems to move past the conflict stage. There is always something that is making them unhappy and there is typically someone to blame. This person chooses drama as an attitude and consequently attracts it and revels in it. They fret over the petty and trivial things and have a way of turning everything into a big deal.

4. The Flake

There are so many great people who value your time and who are excited to commit to making plans with you, why waste your energy on chasing people who don’t follow through? Sometimes people are going through life stuff that causes them to not be available and that is totally fair. But those who constantly flake due to their own inability to manage their time and priorities? That gets old, fast.

5. The Friend Who Secretly Hates You

This friend cheers you on, exclamation points and happy face emoticons included. But deep down, they secretly just don’t like you, nor do they want the best for you. Be careful, because these people will likely mask their true feelings with eagerness and compliments. 

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