MOVIE CHEAT SHEET: Comic fun on the worst movie ever.
Brian Gasparek says the trailers for The Disaster Artist, the James Franco comedy about the worst movie ever made, look hilarious.
BRIAN GASPAREK/ 24 HOURS
THE BIG STORY: A perfect looking Disaster
When it was first announced that James Franco was making a movie (The Disaster Artist) about the creation of the best worst film of all time, Tommy Wiseau's infamous 2003 "drama" The Room, I thought it was a stupid idea. It sounded like a goofy, half-baked inside joke between Franco, Seth Rogen and their stoner pals that was taken way too far. But after seeing the film's first teaser this week, I've altered my early judgment. Watching the ridiculous recreation of one of Tommy's most popular god-awful scenes ("I did not hit her ... I did not ... Oh hi, Mark") with Franco in character as Wiseau's Johnny, and Dave Franco bearded up as Greg Sestero's Mark, I'm already convinced that The Disaster Artist will perfectly capture the essence of the loveable, unintentionally hilarious mess that was The Room. While I'm still 100% certain that this movie was birthed from a half-baked idea amongst Hollywood's favourite box office stoners as an excuse to get paid for hanging out and laughing, they've got me excited to see this film. If you haven't had a chance to stream The Disaster Artist teaser yet, get on it. It will charm both lovers and haters of The Room.
Girl + Creature = Love
When I read about Guillermo Del Toro's upcoming fantasy flick The Shape of Water, it sounded completely bonkers. It's a '60s-set forbidden love story about a mute woman that falls for a water-dwelling fish-creature that's being held captive at the top-secret government facility where she works. Bonkers indeed. But when the trailer was released this week, I was totally taken week, I was totally taken aback. Not only does the film look stunning (not surprising, it's Del Toro), it feels beautiful, creepy, sweet, tense and totally enticing. Trust me, you need to stream it. The Shape of Water will be something special to look forward to in theatres this December. Mega Man the movie? What sounds worse than a live-action Mega Man movie, based on the '80s Nintendo and Game Boy series? The answer is a live-action Mega Man movie written and directed by Catfish and
Paranormal Activity 3 & 4 helmers, Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost.
The pair is in final negotiations to bring the little-helmeted robot bubble shooter to the big screen in the near future. Come on. What cultural relevance does Mega Man hold in 2017? (Especially in the snoozy hands of Schulman and Joost.) Look at what happened to Assassin's Creed - and it was far more current. Hollywood, try to be better.
As if we weren't concerned enough about The Dark Tower movie being total trash after witnessing the painfully cheesy trailer a couple months back, it has now been revealed that Stephen King's long, complex story is being condensed into a 90-minute run time. That means that it's likely going to be a dumbed down, action heavy, Coles Notes telling of The Dark Tower. (That brutal trailer dialogue should have been the giveaway). I'd say our fears have been reinforced.
More Spidey for Watts
Spider-Man: Homecoming director Jon Watts is officially locked-in to helm the sequel, because duh. His first Spidey flick is solid and has already raked in over $472 million worldwide. Having him direct the sequel is a no-brainer for Marvel. It's nice to see the superhero studio rewarding him so quickly for delivering big for the fans. I still don't understand why it took DC so long to re-sign Patty Jenkins for Wonder Woman 2. Marvel always does it right.
BEST AND WORST IN THEATRES:
As we all should have expected, Christopher Nolan has delivered another incredible film. Critics are raving about Dunkirk, calling it a Second World War epic. It's smart, stunning-looking, nerve-wracking and heavy on the heart. One 'Best Picture'nominee is officially in for 2018. You'll want to check it out this weekend. Do yourself a favour and see it on Imax. Turn to page 16 for an interview with co-star Harry Styles.
Solid trip: Girls Trip
It turns out that Girls Trip is far more than an empowering raunch-fest for the ladies. Aside from its assortment of filthy jokes, critics are praising the hard R-rated comedy for being an uplifting, feel-good tale of sisterhood in disguise. It's crude fun for all, with a twist of heart. And the cast - especially Tiffany Haddish - is solid.
Meh: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets
If you're counting on Valerian being the sweet, trippy, futuristic adventure film that its trailers have led you to believe it is, I apologize for popping your space suit. Critics are divided on the fantasy. If you're able to see past the terrible casting of Dane DeHaan and Cara Delevingne, the sloppy narrative, the CGI overkill and Rihanna's presence, the film is a wild, fun, visual spectacle. If you can't, I say skip it.