MOVIE CHEAT SHEET: No thanks to goofy 'Knight Rider' remake
BRIAN GASPAREK/ 24 HOURS
THE BIG STORY:
No thanks, Knight Rider
We have a new contender for the worst film idea of 2017 (that doesn’t involve emojis). It was announced this week that The Weinstein Company is interested developing a Knight Rider movie. But they don’t want to make an action-adventure flick that would update one of the coolest, most nostalgic TV shows from the ‘80s. They want to turn Knight Rider into a goofball comedy.
According to reports, the production company is tragically looking to cast WWE star John Cena as the new Michael Knight and have Kevin Hart voice KITT. That’s truly awful.
It’s not that I don’t think John Cena is a decent actor (for a wrestler) and a good-hearted, charitable dude. I just don’t think that the second coming of David Hasselhoff’s ‘80s-suave Michael Knight should be a jacked up dude with a military haircut and an Ed Hardy outfit. And a loud-mouthed comedian certainly shouldn’t voice KITT.
A Knight Rider movie has the potential to be a dark, sleek, action-adventure franchise, in line with Mission: Impossible. It shouldn’t be a clown show. Did Hollywood not learn from the disgrace that was The Green Hornet comedy? Sure Jump Street got away with going funny, but it was youth-focused cast.
Please Harvey Weinstein: If you’re going to do a Knight Rider movie, do it right. Don’t disgrace the source material.
The coolest movie news from this week was the announcement that a Martin Scorsese produced, Todd Phillips-directed Joker origin movie is in the works. But that news was immediately tainted when it was announced that a second Joker movie is also on its way, helmed by Crazy Stupid Love masterminds Glenn Ficarra and John Requa. This second Joker flick will be part of the crappy DCEU and will focus on the twisted relationship between Harley Quinn and the Clown Prince of Crime. Talk about Joker overload. Why must we oversaturate the greatest super villain of all time now? And worst of all, Jared Leto will reprise his role as the world’s worst Joker in it, alongside Margot Robbie’s Quinn. It’s just too much Joker. We only need the Marty and Todd flick.
Don't get Mother!?
Can’t figure out Darren Aronofsky’s upcoming psych-thriller, Mother!? Neither can I. We’ve all seen of the country house teasers featuring Jennifer Lawrence and Javier Bardem, but zero narrative is presented. The footage just feels off-putting and spooky. But according to Darren, that’s the point. This week, the director said that the only thing he wants us to know about his September release is that “it’s a cruise missile shooting into a wall,” and that he wants audiences “to be prepared a very intense ride.” Yep, he’s pushing the film based on unknown dread and his killer track record. What an epic, unconventional gimmick. I’m so in.
Hoff thought Baywatch sucked
It turns out that we weren’t the only people who thought the Baywatch movie sucked and butchered the show’s campy legacy. David Hasselhoff leans that way too … although he’s really polite about it. According to The Hoff, “Baywatch, they used the title, they used the beach, but the rest of it was more like Dirty Grandpa. It was kind of an R-rated fun romp at the beach…Was it like Baywatch? Not even close.” Just say it, Dave. The thing was Coppertone-scented garbage. Now let’s all forget it ever happened.
Bye Bye, Bad Boys 3
Rejoice, friends. It looks like we won’t have to witness another terrible Bad Boys sequel after all. When speaking about the forever-gestating production Bad Boys 3 this week, Martin Lawrence said, "I don't think we're going to get one, not the way everything's turning out. Will [Smith] is off doing another movie, and I don't think it's going to happen." Lawrence also clarified that he’s “ready right now if they wanted to do it,” because, obviously. What else does Martin have to do? But it looks like the studio has no desire to move ahead with another Bad Boys stinker.
BEST AND WORST IN THEATRES:
Skip the dragon: Birth of the Dragon
After a special presentation screening at TIFF last fall, Birth of the Dragon, the martial arts action flick inspired by the iconic showdown between Bruce Lee and Wong Jack Man, managed to score a wide release. And no one is talking about it. Reviews have been held back all week. Take that, in addition to the fact that it's a WWE Studios distribution, and skip it.
Go to Ingrid: Ingrid Goes West
Aubrey Plaza and Elizabeth Olsen’s social media satire (and Sundance darling), Ingrid Goes West, finally has some limited screenings in both Toronto and Vancouver this weekend. If you’re looking for a wickedly funny and uncomfortably timely dark comedy about the creepiness and vanity of influencer culture, critics are saying that Ingrid is a must see. Both actresses deliver killer performances, with subject matter that is all too awful and real.
Good time, indeed: Good Time
Robert Pattinson’s Palme d'Or candidate from Cannes this year, Good Time, has also finally found a limited release in Toronto this weekend. A legit R-Patz film, you ask? Indeed. Critics are calling the Safdie Brothers directed crime-drama a visual stunner and a solid thrill ride. Pattinson is awesome in it. It’s definitely worth checking out.
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