Opinion Column

Throness and his big stone thingy

By Steve Burgess

BC Liberal Laurie Throness posing for a portrait at the Chilliwack Museum in the Chilliwack-Hope riding. (Mark Yuen/Postmedia Network)

BC Liberal Laurie Throness posing for a portrait at the Chilliwack Museum in the Chilliwack-Hope riding. (Mark Yuen/Postmedia Network)

The biggest news in B.C. politics? Forget the new budget, the controversy about the new Speaker of the Legislature, and the Throne Speech. The real story is Laurie Throness and his big stone thingy.

In case you didn't hear, the Liberal MLA for Chilliwack-Hope recently released a series of 65 proposals for his party to consider. One, in particular, is getting all the attention: Throness' plan to make a B.C. version of Mount Rushmore. “Shape a mountain to create a globally-significant sculpture, funded by the sale of stone removed,” he suggests.

Immediately social media was alive with suggestions for who might be featured on the mountain. It was a B.C.-based Game of Throness with suggestions ranging from former B.C. Premier Amor de Cosmos to former Canucks coach and GM Pat Quinn.

Personally, if we're going for a hockey theme I would suggest a massive sculpture of Vancouver Canuck Nathan Lafayette hitting the post in the third period of Game Seven in the 1994 Stanley Cup Finals. It would summarize so much.

Throness himself suggested a massive pair of hands. “One might see it as hands raised in prayer,” he told the CBC, “another might see it as hands uplifted to help the poor, another might see it as hands out stretched in a cry for help."

If the mountain faced Ottawa they could do hands lifting two giant middle fingers. Or why not cut to the chase and carve a huge, majestic “WTF,” which is likely to be the most common reaction to the project anyway.

A massive stone sculpture is awfully permanent — it would be like getting a provincial tattoo. Maybe we should all get drunk first, then spend the next 1,000 years regretting it. Or we could go with something more flexible. Why not a massive stone Lego set? That way we could have lots of different mountainside sculptures. One month it could be Bill Vander Zalm, the next month Batman. We could rent it out so you could put up your own messages, like “Happy 10th Birthday Richie Rich,” “Built Ford Tough,” or “This Space for Rent.”

I went to Mount Rushmore once. Didn't actually stop though. Drove through the parking lot, looked up, said to myself, “Yup, that's it all right,” and drove away. Maybe the B.C. version will be more interesting. I suggest we pick a mountain now and start carving a sculpture of Brock Boeser, winner of the 2022 Conn Smythe Trophy. If that doesn't work out, we can always change it into a unicorn or something.