Life

Paltrow’s Goop pushing ‘Psychic Vampire Repellent’

By Brad Hunter, Toronto Sun

Website Goop is now selling something called “Psychic Vampire Repellent” for $30 a bottle.

Website Goop is now selling something called “Psychic Vampire Repellent” for $30 a bottle.

Silver screen space cadet Gwyneth Paltrow’s wacky lifestyle website Goop wants to save your ass.

From vampires.

You read that right. The web portal is now selling something called “Psychic Vampire Repellent” for $30 a bottle.

And according to the silly shills behind the site, the product is a “spray-able elixir” that “we can all get behind.”

According to the New York Post, the spray is made by Paper Crane Apothecary — shockingly based in Los Angeles — and is a mix of aromatherapeutic oils that allegedly “banish bad vibes (and shield you from the people who may be causing them).”

Other ingredients include “sonically tuned water” and “gem elixirs,” including ruby, bloodstone and black onyx.

But it’s the reiki, sound waves, moonlight and love that really do the trick.

And in fact, the latest from privileged Paltrow’s much mocked enterprise isn’t targeting Dracula but emotional vampires, who are negative and drain energy.

So, to safeguard your aura, just spritz around your head a few times (don’t ingest it though!), and voila, vampires vanquished.

Unsurprisingly, the super spray is not approved by the FDA.