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Feel like your career is on life support? You are not alone. There is a cure.
"Can you please tell me some funny stories about how people have gotten fired?"
I was actually asked this question. I have great stories but none of them compare to these. Here are ten stories courtesy of Jack Knight at FreelanceSwitch.com.
- Grab a portable boombox and loudly play Eye of the Tiger as you walk around the building. When you get to the conference room where your boss is having one of his meetings, jump on the table and proceed to dance erotically. When the song ends, flip off your boss, jump off the table, and leave the building immediately.
- Whenever your boss is making a particularly hard-hitting point during a presentation, take that laser pointer and aim at his crotch. The idea is to keep it pointed at his crotch no matter how animated he is. You get extra points if everyone knows you're doing this except your boss.
- Every once in a while, slip in the sentence "It burns when I pee" in the company's letterhead templates, website and e-mail signatures.
- Start sending e-mails to everyone in the company every time you leave your desk. Example: "If anybody needs me I'm on the toilet" or "For the next two minutes I'll be at the water cooler." You can spice it up by sending out a second e-mail when you return.
- Every time someone tells you something, spit out your drink as if it were shocking to you.
- Every time you leave your desk unhook your keyboard and take it with you.
- Lick your hands before every hand shake.
- Become obsessed with the boss, run to his car when he pulls up, lay down your jacket on the ground so he has to step on it to get out and open the door for him ... insist that he steps on it. Then follow him as much as you can all day just staring at him and smiling coyly. Anything he says, shoot him with two fingers and say, "I like your style!"
Contest: Looking for funny or dramatic stories about how you or a colleague got themselves fired. Send your story to philippe@dr-career.com. The best will be featured in an article and radio show.
-- E-mail your question to philippe@Dr-Career.com. Visit dr-career.com for a copy of Land Your Dream Job in 12 Weeks or Less. Listen to Career FastTrack Live Mondays at 5:30pm on CiTR 101.9 FM or online at citr.ca