Somewhere along the way of our socialization in North America, women learned how to use their sexuality to lure men. We put on skimpy outfits, applied loads of makeup and hit the bars strutting our stuff.

Like moths to a flame, we attracted the opposite sex. We learned that this was a successful way of drawing in potential suitors.

However, after one-night-stands, getting treated with disrespect and not getting called back the next day we conclude to ourselves, that guys are just pigs. You go back to step one, and repeat. You get hurt again. Your self-esteem suffers more and more.

"All men are dogs," we chant. But maybe, just maybe, there will be one that will see the real you, who will want to invest in you to be their woman. Not for just a night or late-night booty calls, but to be their girlfriend. Someone who they'd be proud to introduce to their family, friends and colleagues.

The misconception lies here. It's not that men are pigs - well, some of them, yes, but not all - it's that your strategy is all wrong. When you exude sexual energy to lure in a man, all he sees is fun and sex. He automatically - consciously or subconsciously - puts you in the "don't-take-seriously" pile. You're not a challenge because getting sex was so easy and, as nice and kind of a person you are, they can't see past the good roll-in-the-sack that you were.

The second thing is that you are likely attracting "sport fishers". These guys don't want to commit, they don't want anything more than uncommitted sex. Even when you start off thinking you just want to have fun, if you ask yourself truthfully, it is quite likely that deep down you actually just want to be loved. You yearn to feel wanted and special. But you've never learned another way of attracting men, so you keep introducing the sexual vixen side first and foremost, and the cycle continues.

If you want to have fun and fool around, this strategy will get you just that. Nothing wrong with that.

But, if you want to find a relationship based on love, commitment, and you want to be taken seriously, then you must change your strategy. Change the strategy and you'll get different results.