Opinion Column

Window of opportunity a careful consideration 0

CHRIS JAMES

It can be tough for a girl to decide when to sleep with a guy. As much as you want to tag the next base with him, you may want to be seen as more than just a booty call.

If this dude is a potential boyfriend for you, wait at least past the first date before hooking up with him. I know, you love sex too, but hold off for just a little bit before you go all the way.

A guy will gauge your intentions by looking to the amount of time it takes for you to sleep with him. If you toss it over like a hot potato, he feels he can safely assume that you're just looking for action.

By waiting, he'll think you don't throw tail at any guy you talk to. That's girlfriend material. Just be sure you don't wait too long and miss the window of opportunity.

I was recently getting to know a girl who I was crushing on, hard. She was athletic, playful and had a wicked taste in music. We were really connecting, but I found it difficult to progress things physically. I respected her boundaries, but I couldn't help losing interest in her.

That little window differs for everyone, but I generally follow the four-downs rule of football. If I can't beat the defense and get there in four dates, I'm pulling my offensive line and tossing the ball back.

I need a girl who's aware of herself as physical intimacy is an important part of relationship building for me. If she isn't ready for that yet, then we aren't right for each other.

A lot of guys prefer just to be physical - no strings attached. Girls are still surprised when they tell a guy how they feel and he replies with, "I thought that things weren't getting serious?"

Problem is, men and women think about the consequences of sex, but at different times. Girls think beforehand, choosing who she sleeps with carefully (usually), whereas to your average guy having sex doesn't mean "in a relationship."

Yes, this means that if you don't tell him you expect something more, he should assume that you do. But that requires thinkin' and book-smarts.

So if you're going to be all girly and start having feelings, be honest and say something before you get yourself hurt.

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