What happened to perseverance?
"Nobody said it was easy, No one ever said it would be this hard"
- "The Scientist", Coldplay
Recently, I watched one of the most incredible performances I've ever seen by Coldplay. During the encore, they sang "The Scientist".
It was so beautiful I cried.
If you listen to the lyrics, they share a strong message about relationships.
Perseverance and commitment are two big themes I've contemplated this year.
In the last year, I've explored being single again.
I've met many new people, established new friendships and strengthened old relationships.
I have been on some good dates and some not-so-good dates.
I have jumped into things quickly only to realize again that slowing down is a better path.
I have built walls - thick massive ones - to guard my heart and am slowly learning again how to build bridges.
I have been loved, liked, rejected, hurt and charmed.
Let's not forget the Yaletown puma circuit and the variety of douchebags along the way too.
But through it all, at this stage in my life, the next person I commit to, I hope to build a lifetime with.
And while I have met men that may be smitten or attracted to me, I wonder if they have the devotion to persevere through the hard times.
Will they still persevere when I'm insecure and fragile, when I'm impatient and frustrated and when I'm emotionally drained and weak.
Divorce rates are at phenomenal highs and I'm sure if you were to count the number of friends in healthy relationships, the ratio of unhealthy and unhappy ones would overrule.
There are many reasons behind this, one being we are no longer marrying for survival, as many in our parents and grandparents did.
Divorce is more accessible.
However, I think there is also a major shift in our generation's culture and way of thinking in North America.
We live in a consumerist society, where upgrading and striving for the next best thing is the norm and incredibly easy to obtain.
We like quick fixes and we want it fast and we want it now.
And if you stop to really think about it, this way of being transpires into the way we conduct and go about our relationships.
"Things" are disposable and unfortunately, this mentality has equated to people being disposable too.
When it feels good we are "happy" and some would say, "in love".
But when it stops bringing that pleasure, excitement, rush and fun, then the easy thing is to dispose and just get a new one, or cheat.
Of course, I'm not saying everyone is like this, but many people go about "love" in this manner.
Relationships are hard, and true, loyal commitment is even harder.
But if you say those words, "I love you ... I can't live my life without you..." those are powerful words that shouldn't be treated lightly - they come with promise and faith.
And while you may not have the feel good chemicals to push you through those hard times, hopefully your promise and strength will guide you to choose perseverance.
www.amyfabulous.wordpress.com
