Armed with stilettos from Manolo to Madden, females all over the world have been anticipating Sex and the City 2.
While I’ve enjoyed the humour and entertainment, I’ve watched the influence the show has had on popular culture.
The characters have a liberal stance on sex and the show has pushed the boundaries on the subject in primetime television.
I’ve heard the argument that Sex and the City is “ruining the young minds of females” in terms of how sex has been positioned.
At first I disagreed. After all, just because the characters were having sex with anyone, anywhere, anytime, it didn’t mean there was a correlation to the audience’s behaviour.
But is there?
I recall watching it when it first came out. Being a younger girl, I thought it was so “cool” how Samantha was so sexually free.
Men could be objects or toys to her, instead of her getting heartbroken or hung up over one guy who wasn’t into her.
She seemed so strong and had men at her disposal.
So yes, the show did influence how appropriate and socially acceptable it was to be sexually “free” and casual.
However, when you’re a young female, without an idea of who you really are and what you stand for, being so “casual” about sex and your body can cause pain, confusion and low-self-esteem.
A fact girls seem to ignore is that characters like Samantha are over the age of 40, have an established career, a strong idea of what they want and don’t want – and have made the decision that being casual about sex is what works.
If you are a woman who has a strong sense of self, esteem and confidence and make the same choice, then all the power to you.
But unfortunately, many of the girls who are influenced by Sex and the City may not be at such a phase in their lives. In fact, they’re trying to create their identity and define their boundaries. And in that case, the show can send out the wrong message.
Call me old fashioned, or perhaps as I’m growing older I’m reverting to a more traditional stance: I believe the body is sacred and whether you are a male or female, you should be selective with whom you share it.
I have witnessed girls not hold enough respect for themselves and think having sex is a way of having the guy like them more, or rush into the physical realm before being emotionally ready and getting really hurt afterwards.
Many females can relate to doing this at some point, whether we’d like to admit it or not. We can say all we want that “it’s just sex” and that you can be detached emotionally from the physical act, but honestly, if the guy was to want to offer more or be sweet and caring afterward, would you really not want to explore more of a commitment? One study seems to think so.
According to the Decoding Love study by Andrew Trees, after the first sexual encounter, women feel more attached for the man. Men react differently however. For men who have had many sexual partners, “having sex for the first time with a woman leads to a decrease in physical attraction. Perhaps it’s due to evolutionary reasons dated beyond our time where women are looking for a father to help raise children and men are trying to spread their “seed” to create offspring.
Of course, you always have to take such studies with a grain of salt, and there’d be no committed relationships if this was always true.
But it is interesting to think of the effects that sex can have on us that we may not admit.
The key is to just be really honest and make decisions that serve you, not just in heat and lust of the moment.
You may think there is no emotion attached to the physical, but in reality, most of the times there is, and that misperception can lead to a lot of hurt feelings. Respect your body and be respected. To me, that’s liberating.
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