By Sarah (Ms. Rowland if You’re Nasty)
Any hopes of Janet Jackson proving that she’s grown as an artist over the last 20 years were quickly dashed about 15 minutes into the show.
It was her first breakdown, and out came the fold-ups and that dated choreographed chair dancing she loves so much. Having said that, Jackson delivered the goods on Wednesday night. She is, after all, an ’80s icon and that’s what people came to see.
Kicking off her first tour in seven years, the youngest Jackson showed up at GM Place with a new-ish haircut: a reptilian faux hawk (I do believe Tina Turner rocked a similar look in Mad Max). Then she proceeded to dance her ass off for the next two-and-a-half hours.
For the most part, her onstage banter was sparse. However, she would periodically appear on the giant video screens with cryptic messages about saving souls. I think she was supposed to be some sort of an all-knowing extraterrestrial dictator giving orders to her mortal dancers…um…yeah…Just give us Janet. We don’t need an intergalactic back-story.
The highlight of the night was definitely “Together Again”, arguably the most uplifting song ever penned for people who have lost a loved one (RIP Justin).
For the rockin’ portion of the show, Dave Navarro showed up on the big screen to give “Black Cat” some of that all-important six-string edge.
Or did he? As the former Chili Pepper busted out his best moves on a wind tunnel set, the real axeman off to the side of the stage was playing too. So I’m not sure who was air-guitaring whom? It was all very confusing.
But the most surreal part of the night was during the bondage set.
I never did buy dirty Janet. With her doe eyes and Mike Tyson speaking voice, she should really stick to sweet love songs and/or empowering pop anthems.
Anyway, she pulled this stranger (yeah right) from the crowd and proceeded to tie him up, grab his crotch, mount him and ride him like a porn star….it was unexpected… to say the least.
Despite this awkward moment though, I did enjoy the show.
But I’m not so sure if I’ll ever be able to shake that haunting image of Penny from Good Times dry humping in front of thousands of people.
