QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "People are taking this seriously. It's kept more than a few people out of the water this week."
Surfer John Philbin says surfing has dropped off around Sunset Beach -- where such celebrities as Helen Hunt, Matthew McConaughey, Cameron Diaz, Orlando Bloom and Adam Sandler bring their boards -- thanks to photos of a great white shark swimming nearby.
Hope he's hungry.
BLATHER: 1) "I love to show my rear end in roles. I fear it's becoming a bit of a habit, a tradition that I have to show my ass in every movie that I can."
Gerard Butler hopes his bare bum will keep you from noticing that Law Abiding Citizen is a really, really stupid movie.
2) "If it had been my daughter who was barely a teenager -- my daughter is 15 -- Roman Polanski would be missing. Period. It wouldn't even get to the court case."
Jamie Foxx says out loud what a lot of people are just thinking in Parade magazine and hopes you won't notice that Law Abiding Citizen is total crap.
3) "Russell likes the idea of having a serious relationship, but when you've got all these different flavours of ice cream offered to you on a plate, you're not going to stick with vanilla, are you? I don't think he's capable of monogamy."
Russell Brand's ex-girlfriend, Georgina Baillie, tells Life & Style that Brand may just be toying with his new squeeze, Katy Perry.
This will end in tears.
4) "I don't think you ever get comfortable with it. It's a strange, sort of almost supernatural thing."
Megan Fox takes a little break from talking about her vagina to tell People magazine about her sexual power over men.
DRIVEL: 1) "I just always wanted to have a place to sit down and talk to him and shake his hand and express myself to him. When I see him sometimes, he's a little leery of me ... it's not the good energy."
Mike Tyson tells Oprah Winfrey that he wants to apologize to Evander Holyfield for that ear-biting incident.
Then he'd like to Shake 'N Bake Oprah and pop her into a 350-degree oven for an hour and gobble her up.
2) "Morocco is extremely empowering, and the women there are incredible. There was nothing repressed about the women -- they carry themselves completely confident, sexy, all-knowing, while completely covered. It's all about what's inside of them, and they really studied themselves. To me that is what beauty is."
Jessica Simpson on the women of Morocco. And how they're so sexy and not repressed. No -- seriously.
3) "You see what my sister's going through and it's so much fun, and she's picking out cribs and high chairs, and I'm getting her little clothes and little shoes and it's all so cute!"
Kim Kardashian tells OK! magazine that people have babies so they can go shopping.
4) "So I'm more of a supporting role in this one, which is why I felt so free. I didn't have to deal with any of the bull---- of the first one. I don't have to hold the movie or worry about the fans. I think I did it better without all those pressures."
Robert Pattinson tells the Sydney Morning Herald that he has a smaller role in the upcoming Twilight sequel and absolutely no idea on which side his bread is buttered.
5) "Look at Michael Jackson by the end -- he looked nothing like himself. His sister La Toya looked more like him than he did. Wouldn't it have been great if she'd dressed up as him at the funeral and really freaked everyone out?"
Ozzy Osbourne seems annoyed that Michael Jackson briefly got more attention than he did.
CELEBRITY FINANCIAL AFFAIRS: Nicolas Cage may owe many millions of dollars to the IRS.
Several reports say the U.S. federal government is after Cage to the tune of $6 million in unpaid taxes from 2007 and about $350,000 more from other years.
CELEBRITY LAWSUITS: Corinne Gehrls, a flight attendant who was fired from her post on Oprah Winfrey's private jet for having "inappropriate intimate contact inside the plane," and with the pilot, no less, is suing Winfrey and fellow flight attendants Myron Gooch and Kirby Bumpus (Gayle King's daughter) for defamation. Both Gehrls and the pilot, Terry Pansing, have denied the accusations of having sex mid-flight and both have taken and passed a polygraph test.
CELEBRITY BODY-IS-STILL-WARM DEPARTMENT: "The winner won't necessarily be the dancer who mimics Michael Jackson's choreography, but rather someone who can move like him, creating and inventing iconic steps and styles."
Someone from the BBC describes Move Like Michael Jackson, a new show in which contestants will vie for the chance to star in a tribute to Jackson and perform in front of his family. Perform what?
LIZ.BRAUN@SUNMEDIA.CA
