Historical mash-ups we'd like to see 0
John A. Macdonald of Mars -- it could happen! (QMI Agency)
There's something about the idea of an American statesman having a secret life as a killer of the undead that sounds like perfect cinematic mash-up material. Thus we have Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, based on the surprisingly straight-faced Seth Grahame-Smith novel of the same name. (He's the guy who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which is also headed to the big screen.)
It's not the only mashup of history and horror out there -- there's also the upcoming, low-budget FDR: American Badass!, which has Franklin D. Roosevelt (Barry Bostwick) slaughtering werewolves with a machinegun-equipped wheelchair after contracting polio from a Nazi man-wolf bite. We're not making that up, honest.
But rather than keep incubating this particular micro-trend, we'd like to see historical mash-ups branch out into other film genres.
History and musical: Napoleon! Napoleon!
Think of this as a prequel of sorts to Les Miserables, following the life and travails of a young, starry-eyed military commander in France who's just trying to make a difference in the world. Director: Rob Marshall
History and chick flick: Lucky Lizzie
Whether she's trying to run a country while surrounded by men or turning down one suitor after another, life is never boring for Queen Elizabeth I. Laughs, tears, and girl power... but will the Virgin Queen ever find love? Director: Nick Cassavetes
History and buddy film: Dead Philosophers Society
When a young upstart named Plato meets a controversial teacher called Socrates, it's a clash of the new- and old-school. But after these men finally find their common ground, things take a dramatic, heart-wrenching turn. Director: Gus Van Sant
History and torture porn: Nightinmare
By day, Florence Nightingale tended the sick. But at night, when the screams of the wounded fell silent, it wasn't because of her comforting words. When the lady extinguishes the lamp, she's going to snuff out your life. Director: Eli Roth
History and quirky dramedy: Will, Undiscovered
William Shakespeare wants to write poetry, but he needs to expand the horizons of his heart. When the 16-year-old Will meets tempestuous Anne Hathaway, his lock has found its key. Director: Wes Anderson
History and comedy: From Monty Python to Mel Brooks to Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, this ground is already well trod. Move along, you silly English ki-niggits.
History and sci-fi: John A. Macdonald of Mars
When a broke Scottish businessman emigrates to the New World, his ship enters a dimensional vortex, depositing him not on the shores of Upper Canada but on the surface of the Red Planet in mid-revolution. Director: James Cameron