Braun: Cheap smarm and gossip
Actress Dakota Fanning walks on the red carpet for the annual White House Correspondents' Association Dinner at the Washington Hilton in Washington, April 28, 2012. (REUTERS/Jonathan Ernst)
QUOTE OF THE WEEK: "I thought it was hilarious. All of my friends were like, 'Yeah, you're corrupting youth with your perfume bottle and pink polka-dot dress!' I'm constantly baffled by what people care about, when there are real problems in the world."
Dakota Fanning thinks you should stop worrying about her suggestive Marc Jacobs perfume ad.
The ad, accused of sexualizing a child (because Fanning looks so young in the photo) was banned by the UK's advertising Standards Authority, which will likely boost sales no end.
1) "It is very disturbing to see a young baby presented to the world wearing a bikini. Celebrity choices carry great influence, as can be seen by the manner in which their accessories and manners are copied widely.
"It is hoped that parents will understand that "baby bikinis" are totally inappropriate and that they contribute to the sexualization and commercialization of childhood."
Claude Knights of British charity Kidscape explains why Jessica Simpson might want to rethink putting her baby in a bikini and showing that photo to the world.
2) "I'm an artist. This is art."
That wag Chris Brown defends his unfortunate new tattoo.
3) "I want to dance and sing. I want to do some dancing and singing musicals."
Mike Tyson wants to do the kind of musicals that have singing and dancing.
Too many blows to the head?
4) "I love boobs. Me and the other Spice Girls are always having a feel of each other's -- Geri came up behind me and grabbed mine the other day."
Mel B explains that the Spice Girls have their own variation on the secret handshake.
1) "I feel like I just don't want to be another teen heartthrob. I just think that just annoys me. To think that's what people will -- will think of me -- or, like, I just want to prove people wrong.
"My new album Believe has really showcased what I'm capable of, especially becoming an 18 year old, and becoming an adult. And hearing older people say, 'Wow, this new album's great. Like I didn't know that was Justin Bieber."
Greedy little teen heartthrob Justin Bieber has taken all your money and now he's going after your respect.
Where's the damn flyswatter?
2) "I'm being tested. It's hard when you have a sweaty man pressed up against you every day. I feel lascivious. But I'm trying, I'm trying ... Trust me; I could chew through a table right now."
Pamela Anderson says she's beginning to regret that vow of celibacy she took for the duration of Dancing With the Stars. And some kind of vow about moving the furniture? It's all so mysterious.
3) "She has made it clear that if any of the contractors, drivers or domestic help made eye contact or speak to her she will not be impressed. This is despite the fact this is a long-term project so some of the workers will be on site for up to a year."
A wisely unnamed source says Jennifer Lopez doesn't want any of the workers on her new house in California looking at her, speaking to her or going around behind her picking up everything she touches and selling it on e-Bay.
Something like that.