Nicole Kidman likes to keep an air of mystery about her life, the actress, 42, tells the December issue of British GQ.
"If you know what is going on inside somebody's head all the time that's not a good place," Kidman says.
"You can't read somebody's diary. You shouldn't read it. I burnt most of my journals after I remarried ... You're only going to find out bad things."
In the interview, however, Kidman talks about the many kinds of romances she's had over the years.
"My life has been about exploring types of love," she says. "I've explored obsession, I've explored loss and love in terms of being in a grief-stricken place, I've explored strange sexual fetish stuff, I've explored the mundane aspect of marriage, and monogamy. But I'm still on that journey."
Of husband Keith Urban, whom she wed in June 2006, she says, "It's a very adventurous, extraordinary place to be: Incredibly raw, incredibly dangerous and you're very much out at sea ... When you commit to someone like that you live and die together by that decision." Their daughter Sunday Rose is 15 months old.
Kidman doesn't talk about ex-husband Tom Cruise with the magazine but does say, "I know my agents at the time were like, 'Do not get married! It will ruin your career!,'" says the actress, who was 23 when she married him.
"And I was like, 'But I'm in love!' All I know is that I wasn't someone interested in fame. And that's not why I got married."
