A Vancouver man who was Michael Jackson's spokesman during some of the pop icon's most tumultuous years says he'll remember the King of Pop as a contradictory, tormented artist, but also a person who was playful, loving and joyful.
Stuart Backerman worked as Jackson's spokesman in 2002, just as the pop star was about to enter one of the most turbulent periods in his life.
When Backerman heard of Jackson's sudden death Thursday, he himself was resting on a surgery bed. He was about to be anesthetized and undergo knee surgery at a Vancouver clinic.
"The nurses around me were all talking about Michael Jackson being rushed to the hospital. The next thing I knew I got injected," Backerman recalled.
"Then I woke up. The first question I asked was what happened to Michael. And of course, the sad news that he passed away. It couldn't have been more strange."
Backerman says as shocking as the news was, Jackson's death wasn't necessarily surprising.
He says Jackson was facing a great deal of pressure before a planned comeback, which was to have happened this summer in a series of shows in London.
"He was pushing himself to do this, not because he wanted to, being stressed out, being very weak," Backerman said.
Backerman says Jackson was compelled to do the concerts for his young children as well as for the money.
"He never really wanted to perform again," he said.
But although Backerman and Jackson parted in 2004 he said he'll remember Jackson for the "good things."
"There were many times I saw Michael playful and loving and sensitive. A skilled artist," he said. "There were times I saw him squealing with joy, during fun times."
He recalls a time at Jackson's 45th birthday party in a big circus tent at Jackson's Neverland ranch, where a food fight broke out.
"Aaron Carter and Nick Carter of [90s boyband] Backstreet Boys started it, throwing the cake," Backerman recalled.
"It was a whole food fight and I remember looking at Michael and seeing him squealing with joy and seeing him in that kind of mode."
But he also recalls Jackson's contradictions.
"Other occasions he wasn't really there at all," Backerman said. "He was sort of a victim and self-destructive in certain ways. I saw that also. I felt that he was almost looking right through me, so to speak, not even knowing it was me."
A New Yorker by birth, Backerman moved to Vancouver in the 1970s, completing a master's degree at UBC. He served as an aide to former B.C. premier and Vancouver Mayor Mike Harcourt during the 1980s at city hall, where he was the director of cultural affairs.
It was his artistic leanings more than the political, however, that led him to Jackson.
Mutual acquaintances put Jackson in touch with Backerman, who had just produced Peter Pan on Broadway.
It was the beginning of Backerman's professional relationship with Jackson. He became Jackson's official spokesperson, promoting the artist, but all too often, dousing the flames of controversy - like when the star was indicted, accused of molesting a young boy.
"It was me in the days after the charges that talked to the world and to the media, who put out the press releases," Backerman said.
"I would have stayed in that role and supported Michael because I really loved him - not withstanding the self-destructive ways. I would have stayed there forever."
It was not to be, however.
Backerman says he was pushed out of the scene when Jackson cozied up to a new crowd.
"We never really connected again," he said.
But for a man who grew up a fan of Motown and Jackson, working for the man himself was a dream come true.
"I loved his music. I grew up in that era," he said. "I loved him. That's why I felt blessed and grateful to get that opportunity."
