It’s been an eventful year in music. So to help recap the biggest stories of 2009, please welcome a special guest: The famous rapper Kan...
“I’ma let you finish, but I’m bigger than a guest. I should co-host. In fact, I should host!”
Um, OK. Whatever you say. Anyway, the main event of this year was obviously the untimely death of Michael Jackson. But since we dealt with that on a previous page, let’s start with a less tragic story: The unbelievable success of Susan Boyle.
The dowdy Scottish singer literally became an overnight sensation with her performance on Britain’s Got Talent. Though she didn’t win the contest, she ended the year on a high note: Her CD I Dreamed a Dream — titled after her signature song — moved more than 1.5 million copies, becoming the biggest-selling debut by an international female artist. There’s a dream come true.
Other artists, however, faced some nightmarish problems in 2009. Perhaps the most prominent was ...
“I’ma let you finish, but I had a tough year. Did you see how South Park accused me of liking fish sticks?”
Yes. But I was referring to Rihanna, who was assaulted by boyfriend Chris Brown the night before the Grammys. After laying low for a while, Rihanna re-emerged with Rated R, her darkest album to date. Brown — whose mother was reportedly a victim of domestic abuse — pled guilty to felony assault and was sentenced to five years’ probation, community service and counselling, a sentence decried by some as too lenient.
Few were saying that about Phil Spector. The legendary gun-toting record producer behind the Wall of Sound ended up behind walls of stone, convicted for second-degree murder and sentenced to 19 years to life for the 2003 shooting death of actress Lana Clarkson.
Another sad story: Guitarist Les Paul died from pneumonia at age 94. More than just a musician, Paul was an inventor whose impact on modern music is immeasurable. Aside from being instrumental in pioneering the electric guitar, he developed multi-track recording and overdubbing.
Others who died this year: Jim Carroll, DJ AM, Mary Travers, Stooges guitarist Ron Asheton, Buffalo Springfield drummer Dewey Martin, Cramps singer Lux Interior, Dan Seals, Wilco alum Jay Bennett, Koko Taylor, Sky Saxon, Willie Deville ...
“I’ma let you finish, but you forgot that old chick from Aerosmith.”
That’s because she didn’t die. I mean he. I mean, singer Steven Tyler fractured his shoulder when he tumbled offstage during a concert in Sturgis, S.D. The fall not only sparked endless Walk This Way jokes and halted the Boston blues-rockers’ troubled tour; it brought them to the brink of collapse, with Tyler talking solo career while his cohorts pondered replacements.
By contrast, Canadian metal vets Anvil were bouncing back. The Spinal Tapish rockumentary Anvil! The Story of Anvil! returned the tenacious Torontonians to a life of big-time tours and TV appearances. What’s next: Anvil at the Oscars?
And speaking of awards, Toronto punks F---ed Up snagged the Polaris Prize for their CD The Chemistry of Common Life — and in typical fashion, frontman Pink Eyes disrobed while accepting the oversized $20,000 cheque (which they later spent on a charity single).
And finally, more onstage hijinks: American Idol runnerup Adam Lambert shocked ABC voters with a homoerotic AMAs performance that included kissing his keyboard player and simulating oral sex with a dancer. He later claimed he “got carried away.” Right. Kind of like when a certain rapper stormed onstage at the MTV Video Music Awards, interrupting Taylor Swift while she ...
“I’ma let you finish, but ... ”
Can someone please shut this guy up, already?
TOP 10 MUSIC STORIES
1. Michael Jackson’s death
2. Susan Boyle’s success
3. Rihanna & Chris Brown
4. Adam Lambert’s big gay kiss
5. Kanye’s Swift interruption
6. Phil Spector’s conviction
7. Les Paul’s death
8. Aerosmith’s tumble
9. Anvil’s comeback
10. F-ed Up’s big win
