Dear Robin:
I read your column the other day about Valentine's singles, but what do you suggest for Valentine's Day when it is a couple and the husband is completely clueless? I have been with my guy for 10 years, and he is wonderful to me, but I have yet to get any recognition on that day. I pull out all the stops. I've made fancy dinners, got him nice cards, and paraded around in next-to-nothing. Ok, the next-to-nothing worked, but only because, well, you know. How can I make him be more romantic toward me? It's depressing for me when all my friends are out with their guys and mine is watching the game, completely oblivious. Any suggestions? -- Married But Still Valentine-less
Dear Valentine-less:
What I'm going to say may insult a few people, so cover your ears if you are a big teddy bear-buying softie.
Men, for the most part, only do Valentine's Day because they feel guilted into it. They aren't programmed the same way we are, and you'd better get used to it, because they aren't going to change any time soon. Don't feel depressed, because he probably doesn't even have an inkling that it bothers you.
Now ladies, if you have one of those rare, habitually romantic men, go and give him a big smackaroo on the lips right now and thank your lucky stars. I have actually seen guys do “eenie meenie miney moe” trying to pick a card out at the drugstore. And looking completely stressed out while doing it!
Parading around in front of him in lingerie is great, but let's face it – that would work any day of the week.
If he was never the romantic type, expecting him to do a 180 because Cupid said so is unrealistic. If he shows you in other ways how much he loves you (could be seemingly simple things like sweeping off and starting your car in the morning) give up on the whole arrow through the heart idea on that one blessed day. I think it's much more important that a person knows how much they mean to someone all year long, like I said before, and not just on one day that tradition - and retailers - dictates.
Don't get me wrong, although I have a strong dislike for Valentine's Day, I love to get flowers. I just appreciate them more when I get a cute little bunch because he was thinking of me on the way home, not because he felt forced into buying 200 bucks worth of roses on V-day.
If you want to feel warm, fuzzy and fall in lust with a man who will pick you up and whisper sonnets in your ear, pick up a good paperback and lose yourself in it for awhile. When you come back from novel heaven, talk to your hubby about booking a date night once a month to reconnect.
Oh yes, and you can bet the farm that if all your friends' guys knew there was a game on that night, they'd probably prefer to be parked in front of a bigscreen too.
Widow questioning profit sharing
Dear Robin:
My late husband left a fair amount of his business to our son on the condition that I was to receive a certain percentage of the profits during the remainder of my lifetime. Is it a fair assumption to say I am entitled to see a copy of the financial records?
Thank you. -- Questioning the Profits
Dear Questioning:
I'm not a lawyer, but reason would dictate that if you were receiving a certain percentage, it would be in your best interest to see the financial statements in order to protect your investments. The way you wrote this makes me wonder if you have been seeing any of the profits, period.
I wonder who was left in control of the rest of the company, and whether you should speak to them first? I like to think your son would be straightforward and honest with you, but to be fair, business and family don't always mix well. Talk to your son and express your opinion and concerns. If he makes light of it, or refuses, speak to a lawyer to find out exactly what your rights are in this situation, and ensure you are getting your slice of the pie.
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