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Dear Robin:
I live in a neighbourhood with lots of Italian immigrants. They generally stick together and I feel they aren't that friendly with the Canadian-born neighbours. Rather than trying to fit in, they seem to be stuck doing things as they must have done back in their original country. On Saturdays, many of them even send their kids to an Italian school where they learn their language and I guess other stuff related to their culture. You would think that they should be spending their time trying to fit in. What do you think? -- Proud Canadian
Dear Proud:
Canada is a veritable melting pot of culture. I have to tell you that I know many people from all walks of life, and while most of them do try to keep their culture alive in their homes and every day lives, they also embrace many of our traditions and ways with gusto.
Of course, there will always be those who are stuck in their ways, stuck in the “old country,” but that is their choice, and as long as it doesn't interfere with your life, don't worry about it.
One of the reasons we can call ourselves "proud Canadians" is because of our generally accepting nature. I wonder from some of the things you say, how friendly, welcoming and accepting have you been of them?
Have you tried to befriend any of them, or simply shunned them because you don't understand their culture. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a saint by any stretch of the imagination. I have had my share of thoughts/comments, but I try and think how I would feel if it was directed at my race/culture, and that puts things in perspective in a hurry. As I have said before, we fear (or hate) that which we don't understand.
Sending their children for Italian language classes is just one more way to keep the culture and language alive and pass it on to the next generation. And knowing two languages never hurt anyone, did it? Look around you and see how many people you know who have their children in French immersion or the like.
If it is a predominantly Italian neighbourhood, as you said, they probably do stick together because they have similar beliefs and interests. Why not try learning a bit about them? Don't be afraid to say hi or wave to them, they won't bite you, probably just invite you in and try to feed you. There is good and bad in every culture and race. Try to look for the good a little more, and you may be surprised at who you meet and what you can learn.
Worker bee resentful of co-workers slacking off
Dear Robin:
I work in an office where many of the employees work independently of each other on tasks that are unrelated. I sometimes feel as if I am doing way more than my co-workers. What's that joke -- if you want something done give it to someone who is busy? That's me. Often I see that my colleagues have Facebook open on their computers and are constantly checking it and emailing what I suspect are friends rather than concentrating on business. I can't really prove they are slacking off, at least I don't think I can, but I am feeling resentful that I am working very hard and frankly don't even have time to sign up for a Facebook account! -- Face Of
Dear Face Off:
Ok, first of all, if you have time to be worried about what everyone around you is doing, and notice they are on email and facebook, you aren't as busy as you think. You said that you all “work independently of each other on tasks that are unrelated.” Is it possible that they have fewer tasks than you do, and that you simply have far more responsibilities because you are in a higher position?
I understand you think you work very hard, and maybe they are slacking off, but all huffing and puffing is going to do is cause resentment – and a sharp rise in your blood pressure. Not healthy. Also, are you actually feeling resentful because your co-workers are all play and no work, and you wish you could be fiddling around on Facebook rather than working away? It is called work for a reason, not vacation.
If you have serious concerns about the work habits with your colleagues (ie:, if the work is getting piled on your desk) then talk to your supervisor about it. If, however, your work is separate, and their slacking is only affecting your frustration rather than your workload, I would let the chips fall where they may. If work isn't getting done because of this, someone higher up is probably watching and taking notice, don't you worry.
Keep your own nose clean and to the grindstone, and save your Facebook follies for when you get home.
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