“I’m, like, so fat!”
With half of all teen girls and one-quarter of teen boys dissatisfied with their bodies, what parent hasn’t heard this complaint, asks Dr. Dianne Neumark-Sztainer? The teen expert at the University of Minnesota’s School of Public Health has written a book so that frustrated parents can help move their teens towards making healthy choices about eating and exercise.
Neumark-Sztainer’s advice comes at a good time: Canada’s Eating Disorders Awareness Week (Feb. 3 to 9) is just around the corner. But in addition to addressing anorexia and bulimia (the two eating disorders most commonly the focus during eating disorders awareness campaigns) Neumark-Sztainer suggests we begin to think of eating disorders as a behavioral spectrum that includes anorexia, bulimia, body dissatisfaction, obesity, dieting and unhealthy obsessive over-exercising.
Her book, “I’m, Like, So Fat!” helps parents to identify which, if any, problem their teen might have and advises them as to how to guide their teens towards healthier lifestyles.
Parents today have a tough job, says Neumark-Sztainer, a mother of four who has also researched eating behaviours through a groundbreaking study called Project EAT (Eating Among Teens): “We live in an ‘obeseogenic’ society, one which makes it easy to become overweight. We are surrounded by large portions of often high calorie food and we have many opportunities to be sedentary all day. On the other hand, we are constantly exposed to thin body shapes and sizes portrayed as ideal.”
Caught between messages that say, “Supersize the French fries, but downsize yourself!” some teens are starving themselves while others eat way too much, she says. Her book offers hundreds of practical tips for parents to help teens strike a healthier balance between self-acceptance and self-improvement.
While stressing that the media plays a great role in perpetuating unattainable body ideals, she says there are many spheres of influence that cause eating disorders and weight-related issues. “It is never one thing,” she says, explaining that weight-related issues can be influenced by everything from a neighborhood’s design (are there pathways on which to walk, bike or run?) to a child’s personality (perhaps they overeat when anxious?), from a family’s own food culture (is dieting language ever present?) to peer influence (teasing and bullying — weight harassment behaviour — can promote unhealthy body images.)
Yet there’s lots that parents can do within this web of influence. Lesson No. 1, she says: “Do more, talk less. I advise parents to talk less about weight, make fewer comments about their child’s weight, and take a look at their home environment to see what can be done to make it easier for their child to make healthier choices all round.” (The book includes a page with 99 ideas for getting active.)
And a powerful Lesson No. 2: Sit down together to a meal. “The family meal is an opportunity to provide food, to connect, and to see what’s going on with your child. If you are eating regularly with your child, and if that child isn’t eating in a healthy way you will pick that up right away.”
It’s true that obesity is on the rise in North America, but Neumark-Sztainer says that her studies also show that overweight teens are at a high risk for using unhealthy weight-control practices. Like two sides of a coin, anorexia and obesity thrive in our culture.
She doesn’t recommend dieting for even obese teens. “I’m not saying everyone should just feel good about their bodies and eat whatever they want. I’m saying that teens need to feel good about themselves, recognize where change is appropriate and focus on their behaviors. If they focus on behaviors that promote healthy weights, they’ll reach that.”
Parents have a lot more power than they think they have in their ability to guide their teens towards healthier body images and weight, says Neumark-Sztainer: “But there’s no magic bullet.”
Learn More About Eating Disorders
Eating disorders affect millions of young people; learn more about them and the upcoming Eating Disorders Awareness week:
Our National Eating Disorders Information Centre provides excellent information and will link you to Canadian events happening throughout Eating Disorders Awareness Week, Feb. 3 to 9: www.nedic.ca
To learn more about Dr. Neumark-Sztainer’s groundbreaking work, visit www.epi.umn.edu/research/eat and www.newmovesonline.com
Get Tyranny, a graphic novel published by Tundra Books, and written and illustrated by Toronto artist Lesley Fairfield who depicted what she has gone through in 30 years of coping with anorexia and bulimia.
What Parents Can Do
Parents have more power than they realize, says Dr. Neumark-Sztainer. Here’s what you can do to help your child through the “I hate my body” years:
If they don’t like what they see in the mirror, tell them to look again tomorrow. Kids’ bodies change in their teens, which is why they might be receptive to a message that tells them that sometimes they’ll love what they see, and sometimes they’re going to hate it.
Say that again? Teens are so sensitive, so avoid statements like, “Are you sure you want a second helping?” Or, “The soccer coach will consider you more seriously if you lose weight to give you more speed and agility.” Avoid diet talk.
How about you? You want your kids to view you (the role model) as a healthy eater – not someone who embraces every diet and won’t ever enjoy that pecan pie. Or have the fruit plate – just don’t use that fowl four letter word – diet!
Just Four Things You Need to Do
Dr. Neumark-Sztainer maintains there are four cornerstones for promoting healthy weight and positive body image in teens. Parents should do the following:
• Model healthy behaviors for your children.
• Provide an environment that makes it easy for your kids to make healthy choices.
• Focus less on weight; instead focus on overall health.
• Provide a supportive environment with lots of talking and listening.
Eating Disorders – More Common Than You Think!
• Girls who diet frequently are 12 times as likely to binge eat as girls who don’t diet.
• Dieting has been found to lead to weight gain, not weight loss, in teens.
• Obesity in teens has tripled over the past 20years.
• Over half of teen girls and nearly one-third of teen boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors, including smoking, skipping meals, fasting, taking laxatives, binge eating and vomiting.
• Anorexia and bulimia can be extremely dangerous; anorexia seems to take on a life of its own, and can even lead to death.
