The Habs are Canada's Team???!!! Since when? Mon dieu! Says who?
Says an Ipsos-Reid poll out this week.
The results are hilarious.
Close to half of Canadians (47%), the survey says, consider the Canadiens the greatest hockey team ever, 65% say they are to hockey what the New York Yankees are to baseball and 33% call them Canada's Team.
Where was this poll conducted, on a sidewalk outside the Bell Centre?
Or in fantasyland -- if Montreal and Toronto meet for the Stanley Cup, 44% will cheer for the Habs, 38% for the Leafs.
Well, we'll never know, will we?
Meanwhile, just 20% of Canadians think the Leafs are the "greatest" team in history. (Actually, I have a hunch the percentage is even lower in Toronto, given recent performance.)
Shockingly, though, just 25% believe the Buds are Canada's team.
Mad Habs Fan
Sure enough, Enzo the Mad Habs Fan leaps on this news. He loves to torment me.
"Hahahahahahahah!" he emails from la belle province. "Hahahahaha!"
That's how Habs fans talk. Even when their team is nearly as lowly as the Leafs.
So, Mr. De Paola, how's my fellow bottom-feeder?
"Hahahahahahahahah!
"Canadiens are Canada's Team? No kidding!!!!!
"It's like telling me the colour of an orange is orange."
You're a slice, Enzo.
Obviously, mon ami has not heard Alan Frew's new unofficial Leafs anthem, which quite clearly states, "Oh, oh, oh, this is Canada's team."
If it's on CBC, it must be right. And why do Leafs games dominate the TV, if they are not Canada's Team?
Maybe the poll is a motivation trick, to provoke the Leafs to greater deeds. After all, it was done for the Historica-Dominion Institute, headquartered on Front St.
Need more evidence this is Canada's Team? Look at the Leafs' lineup.
Our best defenceman is a Czech. Our top goal scorer is a Finn. Our most dangerous sniper is American, as are our GM and our coach.
Our flashiest winger is from Belarus. Our goalies are Scandinavian. Our longest-serving forward is from Ukraine.
I mean, you can't get more Canadian.
All we need is a Somali centre, an Italian backup netminder, a winger from Trinidad, an enforcer from Bangladesh and a Chinese defenceman -- the Leafs will look like shoppers at Scarborough Town Centre.
In keeping with multi-cult, I'm proud to say only nine active Leafs are native to this country.
Move to Edmonton, eh?
A toast, with Molson Canadian, if you can name them.
If you insist on a born-in-Canada team, move to Edmonton where 20 players say "eh."
Or even Dallas (15), Florida (13) or Nashville (15). In fact, just about any NHL team has more boring ol' Canadians than the Leafs.
The other Great White North lineups, including the Habs', are all more homegrown. Yet in the Canada's Team survey, they suck: Ottawa Senators 5%, Vancouver Canucks 4%, Calgary Flames and Edmonton Oilers 2% each.
Indeed, 21% of Albertans choose the Habs. Even 22% of Ontarians, for crying out loud.
I thought money talked. The Leafs are the NHL's most valuable franchise, worth $470 million according to Forbes. That's a scintillating $131 million more than the Habs are worth. Even with Mike Komisarek switching teams.
Enzo is unswayed.
"I don't even know why they had to do this poll," he muses.
"Canadians know where hockey was born ('cough, cough'), where the NHL was born, ('cough, cough'), where Lord Stanley calls home, ('cough, cough') -- Montreal!"
You got swine flu, Enzo? It's sure not a fatal dose of humility.
"As we approach the Canadiens' 100th birthday (Friday)," he replies, "the rest of Canada can say 'Thank you' for a storied franchise, like the U.S. has the Yankees and like England has Man United.
"In the words of (former Montreal mayor) Jean Drapeau, 'Let Toronto become Milan. Montreal will always be Rome!' "
Mamma mia, Enzo.
Montreal Canadiens are no more Canada's Team than a man can have a baby.
Strobel's column runs Wednesday to Friday, and Sunday. mike.strobel@sunmedia.ca or 416-947-2265
